Ever hear that old adage that "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives?"
That saying is true, but you can also choose not to deal with relatives who do not enrich your life.
Now don't get me wrong. I think family is important. Very important. My very closest "friendships" happen to be with people who are related to me. My family isn't a big one, and because of that we tend to keep close ties with 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th cousins in some places. I'm also very fortunate to have many relatives including great aunts and a grandmother who are still living (and healthy) well into their 90s! My family really does mean a lot to me.
However... I have one particular relative and his family who I don't feel very fondly about right now. I have written about their treatment of me as far back as 2011. My hope was that by ignoring them they would eventually settle down and start treating me decently. Sadly, the opposite has occurred and they've now started treating my parents poorly, too (I assume because they could not get a reaction from me).
Then last week one of the "gang" started harassing me via text message, accusing me of things that had nothing to do with any of them in the first place. She said some really hateful things about me and my family. At this point, we have all come to the realization that no matter how much any of us try to ignore them, take the high road, or even pray for a good outcome, these people are just too hateful to ever allow that to happen. And to be honest, after growing up and seeing their behavior against others over the years, I can't say I am surprised. They just aren't very nice people.
Having toxic people eliminated from my life is a big plus for the obvious reasons. But, my parents pointed out how much money they and I will both be saving by having them out of our lives!
I decided to total up my own list:
1.) Not buying them Christmas gifts - savings = $200+ a year
2.) Not buying their bratty kids birthday gifts = $90 a year (in all fairness, only the oldest is a real brat, the other two kids are okay)
3.) Not having to waste gas or food to go to their parties and cookouts (only to be ignored the whole time) = $60 a year
That's a savings of at least $350 a year! I'll gladly put that money to use helping out less fortunate kids in my community.
Sometimes saving money just feels GOOD!
Have you ever eliminated someone toxic from your life only to realize later that there was a significant cost savings benefit, too?
Save Money - Cut Off Family
6 comments:
I understand how you feel, we all have family that can be difficult. only suggestion is not stop gifts for kids because parents are the problem. Just cut back on parents. You can always mail the kids gifts.
I may have to hide this from my husband. He would start saying I need to ditch my family to save money lol. He hates our family functions because he never really experienced them in his own family. I have gotten rid of toxic people in my life, and saving money never occurred to me,but it sure saved me from stress!
@Life Goes On, in most cases I would agree with you about the kids. But remember here we are talking about 2nd cousins once removed... I don't exactly feel an obligation to buy them anything. Plus, the oldest kid (a teenager) has been an unappreciative brat for years. :) The other two kids seem okay, but are also young enough to not miss the gifts.
@Jules... hahaha! Yeah, don't let your husband see this! Getting rid of the stress is so much more important than saving money, in the long run.
Yeah my outlaws, oops I mean inlaws!
Oh yeah I can relate. We have a couple family members that we would rather not encounter.... But it is what it is.
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